Leaps

When? When do you decide to take that leap? The big leap, the one you do in youre thirties. The "I am going to make the next thirty years better, more adventuresome leap?" How do you do it? I can only dream of it... I cannot fathom how to do it without letting go of the kids and husband and my current life. I dream of colors and shapes wrapping around one another. I cannot figure out how to put myself first without hurting so many others. Please blend, Please come together. Please,oh please let it happen.

Yeah for summer

The last few days have been more productive than I ever thought they would or could be. This is one of the items that I just finished. Isabella loves it and I found the pattern at jcarolinecreative.com.

Adventure

I need some girlfriends who are adventurous and a little crazy. I have so many ideas racing through my head but cannot seem to pull them all together. I want a chair covered in fake animal fabric, bright yellow pillows on my couches, modern lights above my bar. Never mind that my house is done in a strict traditional overtone. These items would never work unless I completely overhauled everything we have. This is where the crazy girlfriends would come in--pushing me to do it even though it would never work. I am yearning for fresh and vibrant. Metal mobiles hanging from the ceiling, no more curtains weighing down the walls and windows. I miss having friends that push and encourage you into youre dream land. They certainly do not live in my suburbia land but I will keep my out for them.

Ranjinis work

. . .
Originally uploaded by ranjini.

She has expressed how I feel inside. What an artist.

Decisions

How is it I cannot seem to make a right decision? Big and little, on down the road I found out I should have made a different choice. Life is about option and I have the wrong set cooking in my head:)  My family always joked about it being a big billboard sign in front of you screaming to not make that choice and you went ahead and did it any way.  From planting cucumbers-way to many, to selling a house to soon I am paving that rocky path.
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Cherries

I love the summer especially this time when all the flowers are in bloom and the fruit is ready for canning. So much creativity stems from this time of year, although acting on that can prove disastarous. So much to see and do, I wish I could hang on to all the feelings until fall and winter when there is more time to apply that creativity.
All my girls are at home right now and the house is filled with laughter from sunup to sundown. What better thing could there be to fuel youre energy?

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Dread

I am filled with dread. I leave tomorrow to attend my brother Davids memorial, he committed suicided a month ago. I miss him and love him and still have so many thoughts racing through my head. Some are petty, some are not.

For a few months now I just keep telling myself, "Just get through this day", but I say it every day. I will be glad when my feelings of this subside. So many people have said that there will be hard times, but you will get through them. etc. etc. I wish for so many things... Tomorrow will be a better day.

I woke up this morning with a million to do things running through my head. Why is it that at night I can clear my mind but in the morn I wake up with so much running through my head? These are my girls who always keep things on the heads up. I am still longing for those days when I could work on something and actually have all my attention focused on that project. I will miss the craziness when it is gone but will appreciate the peace more than I ever did.

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5861034

Fire

This womans work is amazing and you gotta love her name-A blond and a torch. Check her out on etsy.

Discovering Time

I just started a shop on etsy called Burnt Toast Ranch. You can reach it at http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5861034

I am a stay at home mom of 3 girls and with all the prices rising I figured this would be an excellent source of income. I looked at it only from a business perspective and how it would help my family. Now I am different--it helped me. I have learned more about the computer than I have in the last few years. So sorry and sad I know. But man I feel awesome.